


The Floor Is Lava

by Novaviis



Series: Watercolour [1]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Crushes, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, If You Squint - Freeform, Memes, Minor Dick Grayson/Wally West, One-Sided Attraction, Team, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Unrequited Crush, artemis is a dysfunctional lesbian, kaldur's laughter is scientifically proven to cure depression, no one wants to clean wolf's den, popcorn casualties, the floor is lava
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novaviis/pseuds/Novaviis
Summary: The team is introduced to the "Floor is Lava" challenge. A wager is placed. Hilarity ensues.





	The Floor Is Lava

**Author's Note:**

> I first wrote the basic idea to this last summer when the challenge went viral, and it got over 1k notes on tumblr. Figured it was about time I actually wrote it out. And I now this technically takes place in 2010, so the challenge itself wasn't a big thing yet, but y'all know that “the floor is lava” is an ancient and time honoured game. It took liberties. Inaccurasies aside, this is probably the most purely fun fic I've written in a while. I hope it makes you laugh as much while reading it as it did for me while writing it!
> 
> Also, if you want to place this in the time line of the show, it's around the first week of October. After the Plant Crisis, but before Zatanna is introduced and the Failsafe fiasco.

“If I ever see another fucking crocodile, it'll be too soon.”

Dick glanced up and over his shoulder to watch as Conner dragged himself into the Cave common room and proceeded to drop himself onto the couch. His hair was still damp from his shower. Combine that with his firm pout, and he looked more like a kicked puppy than a powerful Kryptonian super clone. Dick didn't bother to stifle the snicker that rose up his throat at the sight. He was rewarded with a pillow throw with great emphasis at his face.

Dick tossed the pillow straight back at Conner, who batted it away and sent it flying against the wall. From his place at the kitchen island, sitting on a stool, he couldn't even see Conner anymore. Just his hand reaching up to swat the offending pillow. “Who taught you such bad language?” Dick asked in mock surprise and outrage. “A three-month-old shouldn't be swearing like that.”

Conner didn't respond, but he did raise his hand to pointedly flip Dick off. Didn't help much with Dick's laughter.

One by one, the rest of the team started trickling into the common room, their hair in a similar dampened state. They'd all shed their uniforms in favour of fresh civilian clothes. Dick had been the first one out of the showers, his hair doing that weird fuzzy thing that it did when he didn't have access to a hairdryer, and thus making him look like a fluffy chicken.

Their last mission had ended in the sewers under Metropolis, fighting off Killer Croc and an army of literal crocodiles. It had started out as a scouting mission in New York. Dick still wasn't quite sure how it had ended up where it did. Regardless, the moment the team had been released from mission debriefing after they got back, it had been a mad dash to the showers (and yes. Dick did shower with his sunglasses on, to his own endless embarrassment).

Dick turned his attention back to his laptop once the others joined them, scrolling through YouTube just to pass the time. Alfred often complained that those spirals of viral videos were mind-numbing. That was kinda the point.

“Hey,” a voice accompanied by a rush of wind and blur of movement appeared, “anyone seen my-”

A pair of red, gunk covered goggles floated toward Wally as he stopped in the centre of the kitchen. He groaned, gritting his teeth as he pinched them by the strap. He still had his cast on, after that mess with the Injustice League, and held the appendage as far away from the goggles as possible. Didn't need that smelling like literal shit, too. M'gann smiled from her place leaning against the island counter beside 'Robin' as the glow faded from her eyes. “You left them on your seat in the Bioship.”

“Thaaannkks, Megalicious,” he winced as he promptly carried them over to the sink.

Artemis, towel in hand as she dried her hair over her shoulder, entered the kitchen. She nudged Wally with her hip as she passed the sink. “Think you're going to need a lot more than dish soap to save those, Baywatch,” she teased. The remark earned her a handful of suds flung at her. She smacked Wally with her towel.

Kaldur joined Conner on the sofa, sitting on the adjacent side as he picked up the TV remote. “I believe there is disinfectant in the utility closet down the hall,” he said.

“I might be better off just burning them,” Wally crinkled his nose. “What are we supposed to do with the rest of our uniforms?”

“I tossed mine in the laundry shoot,” Artemis said as she opened the fridge. She took out a carton of orange juice and proceeded to drink it straight from the spout. “But with Red gone, someone's gonna have to go down and start the laundry machines manually.”

At the mention of their previous “den mother” Conner's scowled returned full strength. Kaldur shot him a placating glance before sighing and settling back against the couch cushions. His channel flipping ended on some Home Improvement show. “Red Tornado was connected to the Cave's automated systems. With his... departure, it's become clear just how much he had taken him for granted.”

Dick's following laughter was an inappropriate intrusion on the sombre atmosphere. It wasn't until he looked up from his laptop screen that he realized that the team was regarding him with confusion and (at least from Kaldur) mild disappointment. “Oh- sorry, not that,” he waved off their disapproval. “Not funny, totally agree. Major downer. This,” Dick gestured at his laptop, “I was laughing at this.”

Wally was peering over his shoulder in half a second, joined by M'gann on the opposite side. Dick had been watching a video of people being forced to jump onto countertops, tables, just about anything to get off the floor. Wally understood immediately and started laughing himself. M'gann however, was more than a little confused.

“What are they doing?” she asked.

“The Floor is Lava. It's like a game,” Wally filled in for her. “You pick someone and tell them that the floor is lava, and then they have five seconds to get to higher ground.”

M'gann was slightly horrified. “You threaten people with lava and think it's funny?”

“Wha- no!” Dick burst into laughter all over again. He spun on his stool to face her, elbow against the countertop. “There's no real lava involved. It's just a game, like they're pretending that there's lava on the floor.”

M'gann frowned and looked back at the screen, watching a teenage girl jump up onto a fire hydrant. “Okay, I think I get it. But what happens if they don't find something to jump onto?”

Dick shrugged. “Then they lose.”

“But what do they lose?”

“Nothing really,” Wally chimed in. “Bragging rights, probably. Unless they made a bet with their friends.”

Artemis smirked as they passed the trio at the island and headed toward the sofa. “Now that sounds more like fun.”

“Oh!” M'gann clapped her hands together. “We should play it!”

Conner scoffed from the couch. “Sounds stupid,” he said. When he was met with silence, he propped himself up on his elbows and looked behind him to find M'gann looking back at him with complete hurt and betrayal shinning in her eyes. The look of panic on his face was priceless. “I mean, for us!” That didn't help. Conner backpedals. “We're not like the normal people in the videos, we're heroes. It's, uh, too easy.”

“Fine then,” Dick crossed his arms with a grin. “We up the stakes. We have two seconds to get off the ground.”

Conner pushed himself upright, glaring at the younger vigilante. “Loser has to clean out Wolf's den.”

Dropping herself onto the couch across from the super clone, Artemis leaned back against the armrest and nudged his shoulder with her socked foot. “You're only saying that because it's your chore.”

Conner pushed her foot away. “Only way you're getting me to agree.”

“Sounds like a fair punishment,” Dick offered as he spun the stool forward again. “So, if someone calls “floor is lava” on you, you've got two seconds to get off the ground. First one to not make it has to clean out the Wolf Den. Deal?”

“Deal,” Wally grinned. “Now can we change the channel? This is the kinda show my Mom watches.”

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

“... reason to believe that the disappearance of these known Magicians and Illusionists have something to do with Abra Kadabra's lack of activity. You are to stake out his known bases for any clues that he is behind these kidnappings,” Batman explained as he turned toward the holographic projection behind him. He waved his hand through the air, and a series of maps with pinpointed locations appeared on the projection. He turned back to the team. “Miss Martian, you will take Robin, Artemis, and Aqualad in the Bioship. You and Robin will take the New Orleans location, dropping off Artemis and Aqualand in Charleston on the way. Superboy, you and Kid Flash will take the Supercycle to Glendale in Queens. If you find the Magicians, you are to free them and bring them to the Hall of Justice. However, if you encounter Abra Kadabra, you are to report to the Watchtower and let the Leaguers take care of things from there.”

Artemis didn't seem all that enthusiastic about their last order. “Since when can't we handle one magical jerk on our own?” she asked in a clipped tone.

Batman was unphased by her glaring. “Since it's a school night,” he answered flatly. “You are dismissed.”

With their orders received, whether they were pleased with them or not, the Team dispersed and headed toward the Cave's hangar. They chatted to fill the time, as they usually did, teasing and talking about their lives outside of the hero gig. Robin, however, was unusually quiet. M'gann was the first to pick up on it as they reached the hangar. After waking the Bioship into its full form, she turned to the young hero with a concerned pull in her brow.

“You haven't said anything since you got here, Robin,” she pointed out. “Is everything okay?”

Robin sighed, the melodramatic note in his voice seeming to tip off everyone but the resident Martian. “Guess I've just got a lot on my mind,” he said.

M'gann offered him a comforting smile. “Well, you know you can tell us anything.”

“I dunno,” Robin shrugged. “I just keep thinking about how...” the facade dropped, and he grinned at her, “the floor is lava, M'gann.”

M'gann's shock only lasted half a second, as the laughter of her teammates prompted her into action. Pushing off the ground, she hovered over the teammates, drawing her legs into her body as if there really was magma covering the ground.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Wally struggled to speak through his own laughter. “That's soooo cheating!”

“What?” M'gann dropped her knees from her chest, in favour of placing her hands on her hips, still floating in mid-air. “How is it cheating?”

“I've gotta agree with Kid Mouth. You can't just fly up, it's an unfair advantage,” Robin chimed in.

M'gann pouted. “You just said that I had to get off the ground!”

Artemis crossed her arms over her chest. “And to be fair, no one ever said abilities were off the table.”

“Traitor!” Robin mock gasped. “You've totally just forfeited your “No Powers Club” card.”

“Not my fault you didn't specify the rules better,” Artemis shrugged unapologetically. “That counts, M'gann.”

Wally rolled his eyes. “Geez, why don't you just marry her already,” he grumbled, only to receive a sharp cuff on the back of his head. He winced and rubbed his head, shrinking back from Artemis' venomous glare. Evidently, he'd crossed a line. What that line was, he had no idea.

Kaldur, finally, stepped up to restore order. “I believe we are getting sidetracked from the matter at hand,” he said as he gestured toward the waiting Bioship and Supercycle.

In the end, he did manage to get the team on track and on route toward their given destinations. However, he wasn't nearly as successful in getting them to drop the matter. Robin, Artemis, and M'gann bickered about the ethics of using alien and metahuman abilities throughout the duration of the trip, with Wally occasionally adding his two cents over their comms.

(It wasn't cheating).

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Their mission concluded with Artemis and Aqualad being the ones to find the location of the hostages in an abandoned theatre in the heart of the french quarter. After a quick rendezvous with the Bioship, they brought the victims to the Hall of Justice and headed back to the Cave. All in all, it was a light mission (read: boring), with no trace of Abra Kadabra. They'd gathered enough evidence and witness accounts that they could easily pin it on him, but without the rogue in custody, it felt like a bit of an empty mission. Batman had already gotten his report at the Hall, and so as soon as they made it back to the Cave, they were free for the evening.

“Man,” Wally groaned as he stretched his arms over his head. De-costumed ready to retire from the theCave for the night, the Team wandered into the central cavern. “I was really hoping that mission would eat up more of our time. I need an excuse to avoid cleaning out the garage.”

“Yeah,” Conner grunted. “If only Abra Kadabra had done something worse to those hostages so it'd take longer for us to find them.”

“Exactly!” Wally exclaimed, only for his enthusiasm to fall short. “...wait, that came out wrong.”

“You'll live,” Artemis said as she passed him. She, Robin, and Wally started toward the Zeta Tubes after a few quick goodbyes to their teammates. They'd just finished putting each of their home coordinates in when M'gann spoke up.

“Oh!” she called out. “Wally! Before I forget!”

The speedster turned toward her, hands in his jean pockets, with a quirked brow.

She smiled with all the innocence she could muster. “The floor is la-”

Before she even had the chance to finish, Wally gasped and disappeared in a blur. He reappeared not half a second later, sitting atop the frame protruding from one of the zeta tube ports. Wally grinned in victory, his legs hanging over the side of the metal frame. “You were saying?”

M'gann's hands found their way back to her hips for the second time that night. “You were saying about using abilities being cheating?”

Wally opened his mouth to argue, and after a moment's deliberation promptly shut it again. “Touché.”

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Assignments were slow on weekdays, and the Team rarely saw each other through the week, until they were called in on weekends. Friday nights, however, were always caught in an odd sort of limbo. Missions weren't a guarantee, and the team wasn't always entirely present at the Cave due to patrol duties in their own cities, but they sometimes found themselves heading to the Cave on the off chance that anything interesting might happen. Most of the time, they ended up just throwing a movie in – it was becoming somewhat of a tradition.

Artemis had gotten out of school early that day, and as predicted, headed back to the Cave with nothing better to do. There'd been no one in the central cavern when she arrived, but she'd heard voices coming from the hangar, and so headed in that direction. There, she found M'gann, Kaldur, and Conner working around the Bioship.

“Hey guys,” she rose her hand in a quick greeting as she entered the hangar.

M'gann looked up in pure delight when Artemis appeared, instantly floating over and throwing her arms around the other heroine in a tight hug. “Hey, Artemis!” she beamed. “How are you?”

Artemis stalled, her mind stuck in a metaphorical buffering wheel until M'gann let her go. “Uh- fine, just fine,” she stammered once she recovered. Artemis cleared her throat. “What are you guys up to?”

M'gann looked over her shoulder. “I was just getting the boys to help me with some maintenance on the Bioship. Did you want to help?”

“Sure!” Artemis replied, far too enthusiastic. Clearing her throat again she tried to put her indifference facade back up. “I mean- yeah, sure. If there's nothing else to do.”

M'gann tilted her head. “Do you have something stuck in your throat?”

“What?” Artemis feigned nonchalance. “No.”

“Good,” M'gann smiled. “You can help Kaldur wax her wings. We were thinking about picking up some food in Happy Harbour after.”

“Well, I'm in,” Artemis smiled back at her, the expression lingering long after M'gann had floated away. When it did fade, though, it faded fast, and into a firm pout at being sucked into cleaning the Bioship. With a frustrated sigh, she pushed back a few hairs that had fallen out of her tight ponytail and picked up a rag.

Kaldur glanced up from his work when Artemis joined him at the right wing of the Bioship. He offered her a smile. “Hello, Artemis,” he began. “How were your studies today?”

“Studious,” she quipped.

“Y'know,” Kaldur began (apparently not taking the clue that one-word answers meant she wasn't interested in casual conversation), “I've been studying a lot myself, since coming to the surface world.

Artemis sighed in an attempt to maintain her limited patience. “Yeah?”

Kaldur nodded. “Yes. I left my studies in Atlantis to come here, and I've been missing the mental challenge. So, I've been spending my free time in the library. I picked up a book on Volcanology today.”

Artemis was only half listening at this point. “Interesting?”

“Yes, I would say so,” Kaldur conceded as he turned to look at her straight on. “It has been a great help in teaching me to recognize when the floor is lava.”

Betrayal. Complete and utter mortification and betrayal was the only way to describe Artemis' wide-eyed gapping at the team's leader. Kaldur hadn't shown a single drop of interest in this whole challenge since they'd started it a week ago, and now here he was entirely blindsiding her.

“Go Artemis! Go!” M'gann cheered through bubbling laughter from the top of the Bioship.

She already wasted a second. Artemis looked around her, searching desperately for something to jump up onto. She planted her hands onto the Bioship's wing, tossing her rag aside, and launched herself onto it. She failed to remember, however, that it had been freshly waxed. With a shriek, Artemis slid right off the wing and into the water on the other side. She came up with a gasp, her sopping wet ponytail hanging down in front of her face.

Kaldur was laughing so hard he had to lean against the wing just to keep himself upright. Artemis had never seem him laugh so hard. Pushing her hair out of her face she ducked her mouth under the water, filling her cheeks with water and spitting it all out in a stream at the Atlantean. It barely made it to his feet, but it was the spite that counted.

M'gann floated her way down the ramp, her own cheeks red with laughter. “Come on,” she giggled as she leant her hand down to the soaked archer. “You can borrow some of my clothes until yours dry off.”

As M'gann led Artemis up the ramp and out of the hangar, Artemis couldn't help glance back at Kaldur, who smiled at her knowingly. He sure looked damn proud of himself.

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Four orders of fajitas, four cokes, and a split order of churros later, the young heroes were walking back from Happy Harbour's local Mexican restaurant and into the common room of the cave. They'd made a quick stop at a movie rental place, one of the few left in the area, to pick out a movie. It had taken a lot of bartering and hushed arguments between the aisles of DVDs, but they eventually agreed on a bundle package of cheesy Zombie flicks.

Artemis had been given a pair of M'gann's jeans and a grey turtleneck; a thousand times softer than anything she'd ever owned. Still smelled like her ylang ylang body wash too- not that she'd been smelling it. At all. Just an observation.

Popcorn was tossed into the microwave, the first movie was tossed into the DVD player, and Artemis likewise tossed herself onto the sofa. She hadn't been sitting on the couch for more than two seconds before a large, thick blanket was dropped gracefully over her. M'gann smiled as she joined Artemis on the couch.

“It's been a bit chilly in the Cave lately, without Red Tornado to regulate the temperature. Of course, I don't mind the cold so much, it's a lot colder on Mars, but who doesn't love cuddling under a blanket?” the Martian beamed as she settled next to her friend.

“Can't think of anything better,” Artemis replied.

“Popcorn's done,” Conner announced as he headed toward the microwave. As the menu music played for the first movie, Artemis listened as Conner emptied to popcorn into a bowl and began carrying it toward the couch. She knew an opportunity when she saw one. With one arm over the back of the couch, Artemis turned over her shoulder.

“Oh, hey, Conner? While you're up?” she began, grinning as the super clone stopped and regarded her in confusion. Honestly, he should have expected what was coming at this point. “The floor is lava.”

Conner spared only a millisecond to glare at her before looking around for his best bet – the kitchen counter. Conner jumped, but in his own moment of competitive spirit, misjudged the effort needed, and jumped right into the ceiling. He was sent hurtling back down, the popcorn bowl flying. The popcorn spilt over the girls on the couch as he landed with half his body hanging off the island counter. A sizable dent was left in the ceiling.

“...still counts,” Conner grunted as he hung over the edge of the counter.

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Saturday morning training with Black Canary was routine enough. They were working on basic evasive acrobatics today, and had an assortment of obstacles spread throughout the floor of the central cavern. Robin, as their resident acrobat, was helping Canary provide the “evasive” part of evasive acrobatics by acting as the aggressor and sparring with his teammates. It was a skill they'd worked on in the past, nothing entirely new.

What was new, however, was hearing Wally call out to Kaldur during their water break. “Hey, gills! Have you noticed that the floor is lava?”

Despite their mentor's clear confusion, Kaldur let out a long-suffering sigh before abandoning his water bottle. He then proceeded to run to the nearest obstacle, a tall leather punching back, and lept onto the top. His expression, though subdued, betrayed his smug pleasure at Wally's clear disappointment.

A deep voice cleared his throat behind the Atlantean. Kaldur spun around, nearly knocking himself off balance, to find Batman looking at him with narrowed eyes and an expectant lift of his brow beneath the cowl.

“Oh, Batman,” Kaldur stammered to retain what was left of his dignity. “I was just-”

“Don't want to know,” Batman dismissed him.

Kaldur, once again, sighed and jumped off the punching back to join his teammates. Wally and Robin had their hands over their mouths just to stifle their laughter. Artemis shrugged at him, her own expression communicating a sentiment somewhere along the lines of “karma's a bitch”.

“If you six are done,” Batman said gruffly as he brought up the holographic interface. The team ambled over to join him in the centre of the room. “Reports are coming in about a possible Geokinetic Rogue in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Preliminary scans from the Watchtower's satellites show no signs of life in the rogue. This leads us to believe that it may be some form of Android.”

“Wait,” Robin began, “a Geokinetic Android? Do you think-”

“Whatever it is, it isn't the work of T.O. Morrow, though it is a fair connection, Robin,” Batman conceded. “We believe this is the creation of one of his former students, Esther Day,” he said as he turned back to the team. “Take it out, and get any information you can from its hard drives.”

Robin nodded as realization dawned on him. “You think it may give the League a lead on Red Tornado?”

“It is worth looking into,” Batman agreed. “You all said you wanted to help with the investigation, didn't you? Get as much information as you can, and I stress, bring it straight back to the League. Am I clear?” Nods from all six heroes confirmed their understanding. Batman took them at their word. “Good. You are dismissed.”

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

So, this shiny new android was no Red Inferno or Red Torpedo, but it was still a big Red Pain-In-The-Ass. They'd encountered it in the middle of the city, throwing chunks of concrete and rock. The debris would explode in mid-air, and shower over parked cars and through glass windows. All civilians had taken shelter at that point, with the police forming a barrier around the city's core. It was contained to one block, not nearly as widespread as any other rogue they'd seen, but the damage was still brutal.

Its artificial intelligence was primitive compared to the Reds, but they'd ended up working that in their favour. The android was left with a sort of caveman aggression. With a bit of taunting and offensive attacking, they managed to lure it to a warehouse outside of the city.

“Kid!” Kaldur hollered to the flash of yellow and crimson speeding around the vacant warehouse. He gritted his teeth as he jumped back to avoid a slab of stone thrown his way. “Any progress on the EMP?”

Wally came to a skidding stop beside the Atlanean. “Not much,” he admitted, voice tight. “I've got all I can find to make one, but the generator in here is destroyed, and without one we might not have enough power to blow this guy.”

“Word choice!” Artemis called from the rafter above as she flipped out of the way of a stream of fire sent her way. She fired an arrow at the android, but besides making it more angry, it had no serious effect.

“Oh, you know what I meant!” Wally shouted back.

The team was going at the android from all sides, but it had formed a shield of debris orbiting around its body. They'd succeeded in getting through the field of rocks several times at this point, but still couldn't manage to get any damage done to the android. The technology may not have been as sophisticated as T.O. Morrow's work, but what it lacked in sophistication, it more than made up for in anger and brute power.

Jumping down from the rafters on the opposite side of the warehouse, Robin fired his grappling hook and swung his way down to the platform Kaldur and Wally were standing on. Landing in a roll, he jumped up to his feet and quickly took out a handful of his batarangs. “These are all the tasers I have,” he panted. “If we fasten the EMP to one of Artemis' arrows and throw these at the same time, do you think it'll be enough?”

Wally glanced between the pile of wires and metal in his hands, and the batarangs, his mind working a mile a minute to calculate the power they could generate on their own. It seemed like they weren't going to be given much of a chance to try it, however. Superboy had managed to get through the rock field and landed their first major blow to the android. Its arm flew clear off, leaving its exposed wires sparking. Conner was sent flying back by a sizable boulder only seconds later.

With a piercing screech, like steel dragging on concrete, the android raised its head and threw its remaining arm out at its side. The ground began to tremble violently and split beneath their feet. A sinister red glow filled the room, as a rush of magma began to fill the floor of the warehouse.

“Get to higher ground!” Conner roared as he leapt up to the nearest rafter. Robin shot his grappling hook up to the highest level, grabbing Wally and launching them both up. M'gann flew down and took Kaldur'ahm, her face already coated in sweat.

The team reconvened on the rafters, watching as the ground melted away several floors beneath them. The android was left on one single island on untouched ground, its scream never stopping. They staggered toward one another on the centre of the metal catwalk, holding onto the railing to keep their balance through the earthquake.

“Kaldur, M'gann, you guys get out of here,” Robin urged.

Kaldur shook his head, even as the heat visibly affected him. “No,” he panted, “we cannot leave-”

“He's right!” Artemis exclaimed. “You guys can't handle this heat, you've gotta get out before it kills you.”

“We have a plan now,” Conner urged with a long look at M'gann. “Go.”

There really was no sense in arguing. No time, either. M'gann nodded to Kaldur, and he held onto her as she flew them both out the nearest opening in the ceiling. With the two more heat-vulnerable teammates safe, Robin looked back down at the rogue android below. “Kid Flash, how long will it take you to finish that EMP?”

By the time he looked up at his friend, the redhead had already finished assembling the device in a blur of movement. He tossed it to the boy wonder. “Done.”

“Well, okay then,” Robin shrugged. He turned toward the Kryptonian. “Superboy, Kid, you guys make us an opening.”

Conner cracked his knuckles as he glowered down at their enemy. “With pleasure,” he seethed. With his own roar, he jumped down toward the android. Kid Flash followed behind, using the more practical path in the stairs – or at least what was left of them. As the other two raced off to their duties, Robin turned to Artemis.

“Give me an arrow,” he said as he held out his hand. Artemis nodded, wordlessly passing him an arrow from his quiver. Using a super adhesive from his utility belt, Robin managed to secure the EMP to the arrow. He passed it back to the archer. “Fire on my count.”

“Got it,” Artemis agreed, and with nothing else, the two dispersed.

Below, Wally was racing the perimeter of the warehouse on what little solid ground there was left, taunting the frustrated android. Every time it attempted to track the speedster's movements, Conner would blindside it with a blow to the rock field orbiting its body. Robin swung on his grapple to a lower rafter to get a better look. The heat was even starting to get to him. His teammates no doubt felt the same. They had to finish this quickly.

He watched carefully, calculating each gap in the rock field to ensure they got a perfect hit. Finally, he saw it, a gap near the android's exposed shoulder that hadn't been filled in yet. “Artemis! Now!” he shouted. Without looking up to make sure she was firing her arrow, Dick let loose a barrage of his taser batarangs. Sure enough, he saw the arrow flying past him not a second after. The batarangs landed into the metal body of the android and began to spark with electricity. The moment the arrow hit dead centre in the middle of the exposed shoulder, the android tensed, letting out one final screech before going limp and falling to its knees.

However, that didn't seem to be the end of it. The electricity around it only grew more and more intense, coming from within the android itself rather than the batarangs and EMP. Self-destruct. Perfect.

Wally skidded to a stop as the electricity grew into blinding light. “It's gonna blow! And not a word, Artemis!” he shouted as he sped into movement again. Wally ran up the rafters to grab Robin, while Conner jumped to the higher catwalk with ease to get Artemis. They raced and bounded away, putting as much distance between themselves and the warehouse as possible. Stopping on the rooftop of a derelict office building a mile away, they watched as the warehouse exploded in a ball of fire. Because, y'know, it wouldn't be a fun mission unless something blew up, apparently. So much for that data.

M'gann was spotted flying overhead with Kaldur a moment after, lowering the both of them to the ground beside their teammates. The six of them watched in silence, each catching their breath, as flames and smoke climbed higher into the night sky.

Then Wally started laughing.

Out of nowhere, just like that, he snorted and then proceeded to nearly double over on himself in rowdy laughter. The other five exchanged confused and mildly concerned glanced before looking down at their laughter-afflicted teammate.

“What the hell is so funny?” Artemis asked, voice still a bit raw from exertion.

Wally straightened up and wiped at his eyes. “Guys,” he snickered. “The floor was lava.”

And that was all it took. One beat of silence, and the entire team dissolved into hysterics. Laughing alone on a rooftop as a fire raged on in the background, the young heroes found themselves no match for the sheer irony of it all.

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

 

Needless to say, Batman was less than pleased about the result of their mission. They'd come back with no data, and a warehouse lying in a pile of ash. He did, however, commend them on a job well done in taking out the rogue android, and dismissed them with a “mediocre” performance after debriefing. In all honesty, they'd been expecting a lot worse. Batman had been distracted from scolding them too harshly at the end anyway, with the appearance of Zatara through the zeta tubes. They'd left him with the other Leaguer, hearing Zatara vaguely mention “bringing someone by the Cave”. With little interest, the team departed to get cleaned up.

“Hey, we never finished our zombie movie marathon last night!” M'gann exclaimed as she hovered in front of the team, floating backwards as they continued walking. “Wanna keep going tonight?”

“I'm in!” Robin grinned.

As they headed toward the residential wing of the Cave, where they'd find the sanctuary of the showers and the common room, Wolf came lumbering out of his den room down the far side of the hall. He trotted over to Conner after a yawn and a stretch, receiving a scratch under the chin from the Superboy in greeting. It was at that moment, though, that Conner seemed to make a connection. He frowned, looking between the wolf and the youngest member of the team.

“Hey. Robin,” he called out.

Robin stopped and looked back at the Kryptonian. “Yeah?”

Conner shrugged. “The floor is lava.”

Safe to say, no one had expected Conner to call it on anyone. The team's surprise was second only to Robin's whose eyes widened beneath his mask. They were standing in a featureless hallway, with not even a protruding light fixture or doorframe to grab onto. The hallways itself was too wide for him to climb up horizontally. So, he was left with the next best option. Robin launched himself onto Wally's back, clinging to him like a koala to a tree.

Wally stumbled with the unexpected weight, looking back over his shoulder at his friend with a quirked brow and a grin. “Dude, you mind?”

“Quick thinking, boy wonder,” Artemis grinned as she leaned against the nearby wall. “But technically, that was three seconds.”

“What?” Robin gaped. “No way, I totally made it, I-”

“Sorry, Robin,” M'gann smiled apologetically, “but she's right. I counted too, it was three seconds.

Conner crossed his arms over his chest as he walked past Robin and Wally with a triumphant grin. “We'll be in the living room, when you're done with Wolf's Den.

Robin groaned, dropping his face against the back of Wally's neck. This must have been his penance for watching the damn video in the first place. Didn't mean it sucked any less.

Wally nudged the vigilante with his elbow. “You can get down at any time, now, dude.”

Robin glared at the speedster. “Oh, no. If I go down,” he smirked mischievously as he threw his weight back to tip them backwards. “I'm taking you with me!”

**Author's Note:**

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